UNITED FOR DECORATIVE LIVESTOCK

One Goat. Five Million-ish Dollars. Almost No Oversight.

Our goal is to raise $5,000,001 to gild one goat’s horns in gold leaf. 

Because if the taxpayers of the United States are going to fund absurd decorative priorities, why not do the same voluntarily, involve goats, and do some actual effing good.

WTF IS THIS?

Our Mission: Gild One Goat's Horns in Gold Leaf

For reasons that are still being workshopped and might never be disclosed, we've decided our goat's horns deserve the same level of investment (actually $1 more) that is currently being directed away from the National Parks and toward BS decorative government projects.

Our objective is simple:

Raise $5,000,001.

Use a tiny fraction of that money to gold leaf my goat's horns.

Donate 50% of all proceeds directly to conservation efforts.

Use the remaining 50% for whatever the hell I want.

Early projections indicate that "whatever the hell I want" will also probably be conservation.

But for the sake of staying "on brand" you're just gonna have to trust me, bro.

gil
WHAT WE STAND FOR

Gilding Goat Horns

Our side quest is actually doing some good for conservation efforts at a time when that doesn't seem to be politically hip.

Gilding Goat Horns

Goat horns. Gold leaf. End of transaction.

Conservation

This is real. We are regular-ass people just trying to do some good. No matter how much we raise, 50% will be directly donated to conservation efforts. The other bit... might also be, too.

Making a Point

We are not helpless. We can make a difference, even if the world seems absofugginlutely bananas right now.

Whatever the Hell We Want

50% We said what we said.Don't like it? Go donate to a conservation org of your liking. We dig that.
gi

A vision for a tackier tomorrow

Where the Money Will Go

Key Focus Areas

This is as much info as we're willing to give.

We aren't a non-profit or even a business.

And by "we" I mean "me"

This is literally a stupid idea I thought up and acted on.

If the government can take your money and waste it on BS, why not just give it to me and trust I'll do something cool with it?

Gold Leaf
1%
Conservation
50%
Whatever I Want
50%

Yes, we’re aware that 1% + 50% + 50% = 101%
That’s because we’re better than 100%

Goats
80
Dollars
80M+
Horns
80
The Number 256
808080
Bahhhhhhhhh

How do you stop a goat from charging?

Take away his credit card.

Office

Not A Real Organization —
But a REAL CAUSE
No City, No State 911911

Get in touch

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